


What Moonlight Made Her

by Storybelle



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: AU, Adventure, Character Death, Drama, G1 inspired, Gen, Magic, OC, Tambelon, some gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-25 15:06:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18576958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storybelle/pseuds/Storybelle
Summary: For centuries, mothers in Equestria have tucked their children into bed, kissed them good night and turned off the lights. Each one is told a story about the legendary Sandmare, a mythical, powerful unicorn, who brings sleep to everypony in the dead of night.Well, that’s all very well but it’s a thankless job. Moon Shadow is the sole Sandmare, bringing sleep to tired little ponies everywhere, hiding her true occupation from those closest to her and most recently, trying to unravel secrets that should have been buried long ago and now threaten the safety of the whole of Equestria.And that’s not even getting started on the difficulty of having a social life when you’re a nocturnal pony secretly working for Princess Celestia.Cross-posted from Fimfiction. Ever so slightly AU, especially with the S.9 premiere.





	1. Prologue

Sometimes, in the dead of night, it feels like only Moon Shadow and the Mare in the Moon are the only two in the world awake.

Sometimes, it also feels like the Mare is judging her. Like now.

_Nobody ever tells you having a destiny will be a pain_

No, that’s not right.

_Tale of a weird little orphan, adopted by a Goddess_

That’s no good.

_Downsides of being a Sandmare (as written by Lady Moon Shadow, Sandmare, ward of Princess Celestia, architect of Dreams and Bringer of Sleep.)_

Celestia would have her banished to the Everfree for that one.

Although, if she wanted to write that, the list of downsides of having a great destiny would fill up a whole book to rival ‘Mother Bumpkin’s Book of Mare Tales and Legends.’

For starters, as the Sandmare you’re actually  _in_  ‘Mother Bumpkin’s Book of Mare Tales and Legends.’

Secondly, you have to write in this stupid book.

Moon Shadow stares at the blank page, quill hovering mere millimetres away from the crisp, white paper. It was taunting her, just waiting to be filled with something meaningful and heroine-like, to inspire future generations of Sandmares, as all those before her did. Hundreds of her predecessors wrote down their thoughts and advice. It became a ritual for the Sandmare to add her own piece of wisdom or record her experiences in the journal for the next one. And the next. And all the Sandmares after.

And she’s got nothing. Not a thing.

She’s got things to say, sure. She could write a pamphlet titled ‘ _So you wanna be a Sandmare? (an instructional guide_ ).’

She could start with saying good luck getting a coltfriend when you have to sleep during the day.

She could mention how often you get covered in the night time sick-ups of little foals.

There’d be several footnotes on the amount of paperwork you have to do.

Moon Shadow chews her bottom lip morosely. She’s read and reread the tome so many times before, searching for answers. But she’s never found any. And if Galaxy ever did, she didn’t write them down. Neither did Stardust or Sky Wishes or Bellaluna. Generations of Sandmares…and not one of them ever knew. Why they were chosen. Why their destinies were so hard. Why they were so  _alone_.

Moon Shadow sighs and lowers the quill. Celestia had seemed so proud to hand her the famous book of Sandmares in their last meeting, finally deeming Moon Shadow old enough and wise enough to read her predecessors' stories and then add her own knowledge.  
Maybe one day she’ll know what to say, that might help her successor. But that’s not today.

Outside the moon shines brightly, surrounded by glittering, yellow stars. Canterlot is quiet, disturbed only by guard ponies and the occasional frolicker who’s had far too much cider. No doubt, even the princess will shortly retire before she is due to raise the sun in the morning.

It’s the dead of night: the world is still and everypony has taken to their beds.

All save one.


	2. Chapter 1. Child of the Moon

**Downside Number 1: No social life. Zip. Nada. If you’re lucky enough to have friends, then you’re never going to see them.**

This first one is the one presently annoying Moon Shadow the most. As she recalls, Sweet Peaches is having a dance party this evening. And yet Moon Shadow is currently in a bedroom not her own, having an argument with a small child.

A small child, that if he so chose, could scream bloody murder and get her arrested. Moon Shadow really, really doesn’t want to be arrested. Again.

“You don’t look like the Sandmare,” the aforementioned small foal is saying suspiciously. Moon Shadow merely grits her teeth. If she gets done quickly, she might be able to stop by at the party before she has to go report to the Princess.

“I am the Sandmare,” she retorts. “Who else could I be?” The colt eyes her up and down, considering.

“You could be a pervert,” he says finally and Shadow promptly chokes from shock. Where do kids learn these words?

“A pervert?” she asks, indignantly, with a furious swish of her indigo tail. “Really? That’s the best you could come up with?”

“I don’t believe you’re really the Sandmare,” he says. “You don’t look like the Sandmare.”

“How would you know?” Shadow asks, through clenched jaws. “When have you ever seen the Sandmare before?” He shrugs.

“Aren’t you supposed to be…prettier?”

Oh, this brat is getting dreams of giant spiders from now until forever.

“What’s wrong with the way I look?” Shadow sputters. He tilts his head and hums. Shadow feels uncomfortable and somewhat annoyed under his critical gaze. She gets this enough from Canterlot nobles. Although, she shouldn’t be too surprised foals learn cutting remarks before they even get their cutie marks.

“Well, you look fine. Fairly pretty. But you’re kind of a weird colour. And if you’re the Sandmare, shouldn’t your mane be made of glowing stars and celestial wind?” he says, with the absolute conviction of small children who believe every story their mother tells them.

“You’ve been listening to too many mare tales,” Shadow retorts. Not for the first time in her life she curses the existence of Mother Bumpkin’s stupid book.

“I just thought your fur would be…more of a mystical colour than that. With wings. Aren’t you supposed to have wings? In the stories my mom tells me the Sandmare has wings, so she can fly all over Equestria.” At the end of this speech, the colt nods decisively as if to say ‘so there!’

“No, I don’t have wings,” Shadow says wearily. “I use magic to travel over Equestria. It’s worked pretty well for me so far. And I’m so sorry my fur is a disappointing colour to you!”

“It’s nice,” the colt consoles. “But it’s not what I pictured.” Shadow sighs. She really needs to knock this kid out and move on. It was probably her fault in the first place, waking him up by climbing through the window. But the spell she’s supposed to use wouldn’t work, again. It’s an old spell, used by Sandmares for generations and it’s supposed to turn her into mist at will, easily slipping in and out of bedrooms without ever being seen.

But even after all these years of being Celestia’s apprentice, she still can’t get the hang of it. So she’s climbing through windows again.

“I know,” Shadow says.

“You’re not unattractive or anything.”

“Good to know.”

“But you look a little like a pumpkin.”

“Thank you for that.”

“Your mane doesn’t really go either.”

“When did you become a styling expert?! You don’t even have a cutie mark yet!”

“You just don’t look like a Sandmare,” he says bluntly, after having thoroughly trashed Shadow’s self-esteem. “You look…normal.”

Normal, huh? Well, he’s the first pony to think so.

Moon Shadow sighs. She’s never going to make the end of the party. She could be a normal pony, with friends and a coltfriend and a job where she sleeps at night, like everypony else.

No, she has to go get a ‘destiny.’

“Ok, kid, time to sleep,” Shadow announces. “I have work to do.” The foal narrows his eyes at her, suspicious again.

“I’m not going to sleep with some strange mare in my bedroom!” he protests.

“Well, it’s good that your parents taught you that but you don’t really have a choice,” Shadow says, sweetly. “Good night.” Her horn lights up with a spell that is familiar to her as breathing and the foal stops mid-complaint and his eyes droop shut. Shadow nudges him into a more comfortable position and tugs the sheets back over him.

Ok, so the name ‘Sandmare’ is a bit of a misnomer. She doesn’t actually bring sleep to everypony. They do that bit by themselves. Sometimes she helps things along a bit: like when newborns are driving their mothers to distraction or a young filly is worrying about a test the next day. Then she gives them a bit of a nudge with her magic, allowing them to drift off and get the rest they need.

But mostly, her job is dreams. Watching them, guarding them and creating them if need be. And it’s rough. The wellbeing of Equestria’s dreamers rest on her shoulders every night. All the way from Roam to the inhabitants of Canterlot Castle.

Shadow eyes the sleeping colt, as he begins to softly snore.

‘Time for work’, she thinks grimly.  
  


* * *

 

  
**Number two: Your internal clock is all screwy (made worse by Celestia’s sudden change in meeting times)**

It is nearly dawn when Moon Shadow is finally finished. She longs to go home and crawl into bed but Celestia is no doubt already awake and preparing to raise the sun. As soon as the sun is in the sky and the day begun, Celestia will expect Moon Shadow to be waiting in her private rooms for their chat.

Once upon a time Celestia used to have meetings with Moon Shadow once a month, at dusk before Shadow started work. But not long ago, Celestia requested that they meet once or twice a week, at dawn, with no explanation for the sudden change.

‘Wise and gracious ruler, my flank,’ Shadow thinks grumpily as she makes her way towards on the castle, on aching and slightly unsteady hooves. She’s tired, sore and hasn’t eaten since yesterday evening. To not mention, she got spit up on by some foal in Fillydelphia.

The streets of Canterlot this early are pretty much silent. Normally, Shadow would appreciate a few quiet minutes to admire the beauty of her home city with a leisurely stroll, maybe even a quick stop at Sugar Rose’s bakery for a cupcake. But right now she needs to give a quick report to the Princess so she can go home and get some sleep.

The guards at the castle let her pass without so much as an eye flicker in her direction. She has been in and out of these gates constantly since she was a foal. Shadow nods politely to them as she passes and hurries through to the kitchen entrances. Maybe she can sneak some breakfast.

The kitchen night staff has retired by the time Moon Shadow hobbles into the kitchen, and the day shift is only just started to wander in, as bleary-eyed as Moon Shadow herself. Cupcake – a baker – nods to Moon Shadow as she passes and gestures towards some apples out on the counter. Clearly Cupcake is making apple pie today.

Moon Shadow quickly takes two and mouths her thanks to Cupcake before sliding out the door. As she trots through the halls she devours the apples, grateful for the sweet juiciness running down her dry throat. Work never used to drain her like this. Stepping into the dream world seems to be more tiring these days.  
'Or maybe I’m getting older,' Moon Shadow thinks wearily, as she climbs the stairs to Celestia’s tower.

She crunches the last bite of her apples as she reaches the corridor to Celestia’s rooms. The guards outside the door don’t move an inch until she stands face to face with them. Then Quicksilver ignites his horn and the door swings open with a glow of yellow magic.

“Presenting Lady Moon Shadow,” he intones. Moon Shadow slithers through the gap and the door shuts with a clang behind her.

The room in front of her is Celestia’s private dining chamber. This is where the princess usually eats her morning meal and studies the papers, before her day properly begins. The room is sparse but welcoming, with a clean table and soft cushions for the princess and any guests she may have. As is every room within the castle, the area has many windows, perfect for letting in the warm morning light.

“Good morning, princess,” she says to the figure sitting at the table.

“Good morning, Moon Shadow,” says Celestia, levitating a cup of tea to her lips. “Would you care for some breakfast?”

Moon Shadow eyes the table of breakfast treats greedily.

“I really shouldn’t…” she hedges. The smell of blueberry waffles drifts past her nose. The apples suddenly feel like they’re rattling around in her empty belly.

“Just a waffle?” There’s a glint in Celestia’s eyes. They go through this charade every time they meet.

“I’m sure I could manage one waffle,” Moon Shadow agrees and sits down opposite the ruler of Equestria.

Raspberry Conserve, Celestia’s breakfast server, hurries to pour some tea and levitate some waffles onto a plate for Moon Shadow. Shadow piles her plate with fruit and syrup and hastily digs in.

“Thank you, Raspberry, you are dismissed,” Celestia says quietly. Raspberry bows and retreats. Only when the doors have safely shut behind her does Celestia speak.

“How was your work last night, Moon Shadow?” The Princess tops up her teacup and spoons in sugar while waiting for Shadow to finish her mouthful.

“Quiet, I guess,” Shadow shrugs, stopping to take a sip of her own mug. “I had a small run in with a colt though. He woke up when I climbed through his window.”

“Still no luck on the wisp spell?” Celestia asks, with a small frown. “I know it’s highly unlikely that anypony will believe the stories of foals but you constantly live with the risk of being caught.”

“No,” Shadow sighs. “No luck.” The wisp spell, in all honesty, is not an easy spell. Shadow has been training since she was tiny to master it...but no such luck. As the Sandmare, she should have no trouble casting it. But most of the time all she can manage is to turn the tip of her tail into a small, dark cloud.

Celestia looks carefully at her ward and puts down her teacup.

“Well, I’m sure it will come to you in time,” Celestia says, calmly. “Was there anything else to report?”

“No, just that,” Shadow carefully moves the last bite of waffle around her plate to gather up all the syrup before placing it in her mouth. “I had to tell him I was the Sandmare so he wouldn’t scream. I know that’s against the rules but…”

“You mustn’t tell anypony you know about your secret life,” Celestia says, with a small smile. “But I doubt that anypony is going to believe that young colt about the Sandmare appearing in his room.”

“I put a sleeping spell on him anyway,” Moon Shadow says, looking mournfully at her empty plate. That waffle vanished rather quickly. “He might not even remember it happened.”

“Would you care for another?” Celestia asks, gesturing at the tray. Moon Shadow wavers but declines.

“Thank you, Princess, but I’d rather go to bed now if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Celestia agrees. “Send my love to your mother, won’t you? Her zap apple-elderberry tea was delightful.”

“I’ll tell her,” Moon Shadow says, getting up from the pillow and stretching her legs. “Thank you for breakfast, Princess.”

“I’ll see you next week,” Celestia says. “Any requests?”

“I’m sure oatmeal and dandelion yogurt wouldn’t be turned down,” Moon Shadow says with a smile. She’s pretty sure that Celestia having her favourite foods waiting for her for their meetings is Celestia’s way of apologising for the extra meeting times.

She’s about to open the door and take her leave when she hesitates.

“Moon Shadow?” Celestia asks gently. “Are you certain nothing happened tonight?”

“No, nothing out of the ordinary,” Shadow says. “It’s just...that colt told me I couldn’t be the sandmare because I look too normal.”

“Well, children will believe with fairy tales,” Celestia says, with a small shrug. “They believe in dream dust falling from her mane and travelling on wisps of cloud and alicorns weaving dreams.”

“Yes but...” Moon Shadow struggles to find her words. She’s not sure they’re ones you can tell to an immortal goddess.

“Sandmares have always been like you, Moon Shadow,” Celestia says softly. “Normal fillies. But no one knows that. They expect the magical, mystical and impossible.”

“And instead they get the mundane,” Shadow sighs. The colt’s comments are all too fresh in her mind. She understands though. Powerful, legendary figures like the Sandmare aren't supposed to have pumpkin-coloured fur, an overgrown mane and a sharp tongue. Celestia chuckles, shaking her head.

“I doubt very much you are ‘mundane,’ Moon Shadow. But it’s alright to want to be normal. Many of your predecessors had the same wish. Speaking of which, how did you get on with the journal? Had you added anything in it yet?”

Shadow shifts guiltily on her hooves. She’s not sure how to tell the princess the pages set aside for her are still as empty as they were when Celestia had given her the book.

She’s also not even sure she wants to write anything in it. Anything she has to say would not comfort or help the mare after her. Generations of Sandmares have already said all there is to say. If Moon Shadow wanted to help her successor, she’d be better off making an index. Feeling lonely, look at the entries of Galaxy, Dancing Butterflies and Blazing Comet. Wanting a normal life, see Wishing Dust, Glory and Star Bright. And for the bonus round, Nova has a brilliant method of getting foal spit out of your mane. It’d make things easier than searching for a piece of advice out of a thousand years of Sandmares.

“Not yet!” Shadow says nervously. “I'm still thinking. I don’t really want anything that’s already been said, you know?”

“Of course,” Celestia says. “I understand. You’ll find your own special words to say in your own time.”

She could just write ‘Don’t be a Sandmare, EVER’ on her page. That sums up what she’s feeling pretty well.

“I expect so,” Moon Shadow lies. “I should get home to bed.”

“Good night, Moon Shadow,” Celestia says, with a twinkle in her eye. Shadow has the unnerving feeling that Celestia knows that Shadow was lying through her teeth. Somehow she always knows.

But Shadow’s not a very good liar. She’s been told. Many times.

Moon Shadow bows to the princess and trots out of the door. The guards don’t even blink as she passes by. As far as they’re aware she’s just a night court representative, updating Celestia on matters of state.

Moon Shadow returns the way she came, down the stairs to the main castle. It looks to be a beautiful day, but Shadow won’t get to enjoy most of it. She usually sleeps until well past noon and wakes several hours before the sun goes down.

Shadow slumps a little bit as she strolls down the hallway. If she goes out of the west entrance it’ll put her at a five minute walk away from her apartment building. She can be home within ten minutes and can see her mother before she collapses into bed.

She’s just so tired today. Her hooves feel unusually heavy and her bones feel like they’re aching. She’s so focused on moving her feet that she doesn't really hear the voices at the end of the hall. It’s lucky that she looks up and sees them before they see her.

Her feet turn out to be less tired when she needs to fling herself down a side corridor and cower behind a suit of armour.

Because heading her way is the brightest and best, Celestia’s own personal student, Twilight Sparkle.


	3. Chapter 2. Waxing Moon

Rules for being a Sandmare  
Rule 1  
Never,  _ever_  talk to Twilight Sparkle

Moon Shadow hurriedly presses herself as closely against the wall as she can. There's no way she can go back the way she came in time so all she can do is do her best to stay out of sight.

If she’s lucky, Twilight will just keep going to her own tower or to the library. If she’s not so lucky, Twilight will come this way. Even if they don’t engage in conversation, Twilight isn’t supposed to know Moon Shadow exists at all. All it would take is for Twilight to get curious about the brightly coloured mare who freely wanders in and out of Celestia’s chambers late at night and probe a little bit.

It would be easy for her to find out that despite being on the list of night court representatives and receiving a paycheck for it, Shadow never actually turns up. With a brother on the royal guard, Twilight could also find out about her criminal history - namely climbing in and out of places she’s not meant to be. And that all charges were waived by Princess Celestia. And every single one was a small child’s bedroom, dark and somewhere away from streets with patrol ponies.

She might even find out about Tea Leaf.

Moon Shadow presses herself even further back, wishing yet again she could do the wisp spell. If she could she could be an intangible cloud of mist and out of the nearest window before Twilight even knows she's here.

The hoof steps are getting closer, followed by what sounds like claws on the polished castle floor. Her assistant must be with her. What was his name?

“Finish ‘A comprehensive guide to weather magic': check!” Twilight’s voice is clearly audible now, as Celestia's student mutters quietly to herself. ‘Finish the essay on ‘Zebrican traditions and lore:’ check. Next on the agenda, catalogue and re-shelve all my books!” The hoof steps stop very closely to Moon Shadow’s hiding place. Twilight must have stopped only a few feet away.

“Do you really need all these books from the library, Twilight?” asks her assistant. He seems to be out of breath.

Shadow risks a peek from around the corner. Yep, he’s carrying at least five books, tiny dragon arms struggling to keep them aloft, and Twilight is levitating another six. The mare herself is also holding a pen and a piece of paper in her magical grip. Thankfully, Twilight looking at the small dragon and doesn’t notice an orange muzzle disappearing behind the corner again.

“Spike, you know I have a lot of studying to do,” Twilight says. “Besides, we have unlimited access to the Canterlot library! We should make the most of it.”

“You’ve read half of these already…” Spike mutters. “We didn’t need to get up so early.”

“It never hurts to refresh the material in your mind,” Twilight says. “Now we just have to get zucchini and broccoli in for lunch. It’ll be a nice light lunch, after all that re-shelving.” She begins walking again, closer and close to Moon Shadow...and just keeps going, trotting straight past the corridor without even lifting her head from her list. Spike follows, a bit slower. Moon Shadow relaxes. He’s never going to see her from behind that pile of books.

When Spike finally disappears out of sight, Moon Shadow lets out a relieved breath. Safe. The Twilight rule isn’t the hardest one to keep (as Shadow used to only visit the castle at night, once a month, when Twilight was safely away in her tower) but it is very important. Celestia had stressed more than enough times that any interaction with Twilight Sparkle was expressly forbidden.

Moon Shadow had only ever asked why once.

_'Twilight has her own, very important destiny to fulfil," Celestia said gently to her ward. "And when the time comes, the choices she makes must be genuine and hers alone. I want her to be able to do that because she wants to, not because she believes she has to. Do you understand?"_

_Moon Shadow bit her lip. It didn't seem fair. She is Celestia's ward; Twilight is Celestia's student. Shadow had hoped that she could become friends with Twilight...and now she's been told that she can't talk to her_ ever?

_"But what if I'm careful?" Shadow asked. "She never has to find out who I am." But Celestia just shook her head._

_"I'm sorry, little one," she said. "But I cannot take that chance. Everything has to happen in its own time and its own way. Now, no more talk on the subject. Shall we return to our lesson?"_

Celestia had refused to talk about it anymore, even to explain more on why it was so forbidden.

Moon Shadow checks one last time that Twilight and her assistant have gone before stepping out. Why in Equestria were they at the castle this early?

“Lady Moon Shadow!” A sharp voice startles Moon Shadow out of her thoughts. Without meaning to, her hind legs slip out from underneath her and she lands heavily on her rump.

“Good morning, Orchid Belle,” Moon Shadow says, from the floor.

“Lady Moon Shadow,” Orchid Belle says, crisply. “Precisely what are you doing lurking around corners?”

“I wasn’t lurking!” Shadow protests, climbing to all four hooves again. “I was visiting the Princess!”

“A likely story,” Orchid Belle sniffs. Shadow’s eyes are drawn, as always, to the tower of golden curls on Orchid Belle’s head. No matter how much she shakes her head or the wind blows or, Celestia forbid, somepony slicks up the west corridor with butter and Orchid Belle happens to be walking down it (and ends up, flank first, in a Princess Platinum era tapestry) those curls never, ever move.

Moon Shadow has tried everything.

“Would you like to come with me so we can ask her?” Shadow asks, sweetly.

“I’m not so uncouth as to disturb the princess while she is enjoying her breakfast,” Orchid replies, frostily. “Why did you need to visit her so early?”

“I was delivering the minutes of Night court for the last month,” Moon Shadow says. It’s a lie she’s used before. The old stallions in Night court never question why a young mare is supposed to be on Night court and they also never wonder why she rarely turns up. In fact, the only time she goes is when Celestia wants her to intervene on some matter that nobles won’t bother to fight for.

“Hmm,” Orchid Belle studies her carefully. “And it couldn’t wait until later in the day?”

“I’d like to go to bed, Orchid Belle,” Moon Shadow says pointedly. “I was already here with the minutes and the Princess was keen to see what was petitioned this month.”

“Very well then,” Orchid Belle says. “But see that you don’t make this a regular occurrence. Move along now.” Orchid gestures with a delicate tangerine hoof in the direction that Moon Shadow should go.

Moon Shadow mock curtsies and hurries past her. If she’s quick she can catch her mother, Tea Leaf, before she leaves for work.  
  
  


* * *

  
Moon Shadow lives in staff housing with her mother. Celestia has offered more than once to arrange for her own set of rooms but Shadow has refused every time. The only way being a Sandmare could be more depressing is if she comes home in the morning to an empty apartment.

Tea Leaf is in charge of beverages at the castle. Tea is her speciality but her talent extends to making everything from smoothies to hot chocolate. She was only Moon Shadow’s age when Celestia called her into the royal chambers to ask if she would take care of a small filly in need of a home.

Tea Leaf had been surprised, confused and a bit apprehensive. After all, she was only a young mare, with no partner, and new to the castle kitchens. But, luckily for Moon Shadow, she’d accepted and the early memories of Shadow’s life are some of the happiest she has.

Moon Shadow trudges in the door to their rooms, aching in every one of her limbs. She wants a warm drink, to shift her cat off her pillow and to crawl into bed until this afternoon.

“Is that you, darling?” Tea Leaf calls from the kitchen.

“Yes, mom,” Moon Shadow replies, forcing her feet to move down the hall.

The kitchen is bright with sunlight and there’s the smell of chocolate in the air. It’s enough to make Moon Shadow perk up a bit.

“Cinnamon hot chocolate!” she exclaims in delight, trotting over to the stove.

Tea Leaf calmly stirs the hot chocolate, without looking at her excited daughter. “It’s nearly ready. Go sit down.”

Shadow reluctantly moves away from the stove and sits at their small table. There’s always only ever been two chairs at that table, with a spare in the closet for a guest.

“How was work, dear?” Tea Leaf asks, dipping a spoon in the saucepan to taste.  
Shadow sighs and lays her head down on the table.

“Fine, I guess,” she replies. Her mother has always know what she is and the role she has in Equestria. When Moon Shadow was about the right age to learn magic, Celestia had taken Tea Leaf aside and quietly explained everything to her. The princess had thankfully understood that hiding something that large from her mother would be nearly impossible. To this day, Tea Leaf and Celestia are the only two ponies in existence who know the truth.

“How is Princess Celestia?” Tea Leaf says. Tea Leaf and Celestia get on wonderfully. Apparently they met when Tea Leaf was a new apprentice in the kitchens and was tasked with taking Celestia her afternoon tea. It was these interactions that led Celestia to believe the kind young mare was best suited to raising a filly.

“Fine,” Moon Shadow repeats. “She says your zap apple tea was wonderful.”

“Oh, good,” Tea Leaf says, pouring more milk into the saucepan. “That was a bit of an experiment. Cranberry Joy suggested it to me. Her husband’s an Orange, and they have distant cousins in Ponyville who farm zap apples.”

“Uh huh,” Shadow says, head still on the table. Tea Leaf merely shakes her head and turns off the stove.

“Chocolate’s ready!” she sings out and pulls two mugs down from the cabinet. Shadow watches as her mother carefully pours two full mugs of steaming, comforting hot chocolate.

She goes to take it from her mother with magic only to find that Tea Leaf is holding it out of reach.

“Nu uh!” Tea Leaf says, teasingly. “Chocolate is only for happy pumpkins!”

“I’m not a pumpkin, mom,” Shadow says, in bemusement. Her mother’s Manehattan upbringing sometimes clashes with her more playful personality. Shadow suspects that her mother's mischievous streak is what bonds her to the Princess but try as she might she can't get any stories out of either of them.

“When you were a baby you looked like a fat little pumpkin,” Tea Leaf says, finally relinquishing the mug.

“Why ever would I need teenage self-esteem issues when I have you?” Shadow says, pulling the warm mug up to her lips. The hot chocolate is a balm on her throat, the scent of cinnamon perking her up. This is by far her favourite after work drink. She'd come home the morning after her first night in the dreamworld, weary, scared and entirely certain she was the wrong pony for the job. Tea Leaf had been the one to comfort her crying teenager with a warm, sweet drink and a hug and the routine has stayed the same ever since.

“You’re not a teenager, darling,” Tea Leaf reminds her, taking her own seat. “And I could always get a smile out of you with that happy pumpkin joke when you were a filly.”

Shadow stops to take a breath, half of the chocolate gone already. Somehow it’s never too hot, even straight from the stove. It’s always perfect, ready to drink temperature. When she was a foal she'd thought her mom was magic. Growing up, she'd realised that it was just Tea Leaf's natural talent, allowing her to know exactly the right temperature.

“When I was a filly, the only problem I had was that the other girls thought I was weird,” Shadow says.

“They still think you’re weird,” Tea Leaf points out, nursing her own mug.

“Ouch. Brutal, mom,” Shadow says.

It’s true though. All the other foals at Celestia’s school of magic had thought she was mad. She hadn’t cared because she had the Princess and her mother and a destiny.

But when you grow up it turns out a destiny isn’t quite what you expect it to be.

Even now when they see her, they still think she’s a bit off. But she can’t help it. She has seen their dreams and therefore their inner thoughts, worries and desires. Shadow lives in constant fear that she’ll blurt out something that she shouldn’t know when talking to them. The strain of it makes her a little tense whenever she runs into an old classmate.

Shadow sighs and raises her mug again to drain the rest of her chocolate.

“You have friends now,” Tea Leaf points out.

“I’m pretty certain they think I’m weird too,” Moon Shadow says, reluctantly hauling herself out of her chair. She goes over to the sink to wash out her mug.

“They still like you though,” Tea Leaf says, with a smile.

“That’s probably because they’re not the most normal of mares themselves,” Moon Shadow says, dryly. She tips her mug upside down on the draining board to dry.

“Alright, I’m going to bed. Good night,” Shadow says, bending down to kiss Tea Leaf on the cheek.

“Good night, dear. I’ll see you this evening?”

“I expect so,” Shadow says, stifling a yawn. “I’ll be back for dinner before I have to go to work.”

“Sleep well,” Tea Leaf says, going to wash up her own mug. Shadow nods sleepily and trudges out of the kitchen and down the hallway to her bedroom.

She collapses on her bed with a sigh. Most days it isn’t enough to see the ponies she loves in small snippets when she can. Seeing any ponies at all is a struggle. It’s not like she can go to work and chat to co-workers or customers like others can. She can't even speak to ponies on the street! Well, she can, but at that time of morning, they've usually had a bit too much cider.

She rolls over onto her back and finds herself staring up at bright green eyes.

“Well, there you are,” Shadow says grumpily. “I half expected you to be asleep on my pillow again.”

Icarus only flicks his tail at her. He’d been a gift from Celestia when she was ten and he is as prickly and antisocial as he was then.  
But he’s the only one in the world Moon Shadow can really talk to.

“Normal,” she says aloud. “Ordinary. He thought I was normal.” And then the obvious concluding thought: ‘I’m never going to be normal.’

Icarus bats at her ear and she yelps as his claws connect.

“That hurt!” Moon Shadow hisses, examining the damage. Her ear doesn’t appear to be bleeding but it stings. “What did I ever do to you? I feed you, you know!”

Icarus merely watches her, tail still flicking. Moon Shadow stares back sullenly before climbing into bed.

“’Sandmares and cats have worked together for a common purpose for years.’” She mimics Celestia's words from the day Shadow had been presented with a tiny kitten. “Not harmoniously, clearly!”

But when she snuggles down under the covers, Icarus moves to sit next her, offering her the comfort of the weight and warmth of another living thing. He purrs loudly from between her hooves until she drops off to sleep.

 

* * *

  
  
It’s dark.

For a minute Moon Shadow thinks she’s out at work again. It looks like a dark street, empty of ponies, with only a few flickering lamps for light.

It’s not Canterlot. Moon Shadow has lived in Canterlot for as long as she can remember and this street is strange to her. The cobblestones under her feet are newer, the building taller and more modern than the classic architecture that mimics the castle. Even the flickering lamps are wrong. Lamps would never flicker in Canterlot. Ponies work hard to make sure the place their princess lives is always pristine and perfect.

Moon Shadow trots forward because it’s better than not moving. Her hooves take her to the end of the road, which seems to lead out onto a main street. This road is a little better kept, with bigger lamps and hanging flower baskets. It’s still dead quiet.

Moon Shadow is unnerved. Equestria is rarely still at night. At least, not in the larger cities. There are always ponies who are out late, to either work or play. But here there’s no sound. Not a one. No music from a distant club, the sound of hoof steps the next street over or a door shutting in a nearby house. Nothing.

Moon Shadow steps onto the main street and looks around. The buildings are even bigger in the distance. This must be the outskirts of the city, she surmises. It’s the same in Canterlot, although that’s because the capital of Equestria is built into the side of a mountain. No choice but to build up.

Is this a dream?

It can’t be. Shadow doesn’t dream. She never has. Sandmares don't dream. She only ever lays her head down in the morning and then wakes up hours later, with nothing in between. She doesn’t  _dream_.

So why is she dreaming  _now_?

It would be better to move, she decides. Standing still in this empty city would probably be more dangerous than her moving and keeping an eye out. This way, she can search for clues or whatever it is she’s meant to see.

For that must be it. This is no regular dream after all. Shadow has seen tens of thousands of dreams and this one is nothing like the rest.

 _Typical_ , Shadow thinks, choosing a path to walk down. She can’t even dream normally.

For a while the only sounds she hears are her own hoof steps on the cobbles and her quiet breathing. The sound of her hooves echo down quiet streets – and they’re all quiet, every one of them. No pony in sight.

No living thing in sight.

Moon Shadow steels herself. She is the Sandmare, the only one, sworn to protect Equestria from dark and troubled dreams. She can surely manage one creepy little dream herself.

But when she turns a corner and sees the fog rolling in, she’s not so sure.

Moon Shadow swallows. She has a horrible feeling she’s meant to go through the fog. Whatever it is that she’s looking for must be down this street.

So she grits her teeth and walks on.  
  


* * *

 

The fog curls around her with cold, wispy tendrils. Shadow half wants to shiver but she has to remind herself this is a dream.

Even so, she feels cold.

It’s getting thicker the more she moves forward. She’s getting close.

A couple of feet more and the aura of magic almost makes her knees buckle. It’s worse than the fog, dark magic clouding her head and smothering her horn. Luckily she doesn’t have much further to go – a few more steps and she stops in front of a house.

It should be just any other house. But the closer she gets to it, the worse the pressure gets.

Shadow hurriedly tries to remember what she’s learnt about dark magic. It’s rarely used in Equestria, hardly ever seen. Celestia had only ever given her a few lessons on where dark magic exists and who uses it. There’s little use for it in a land powered by harmony and friendship.

But something in this house is evil.

Something emerges from the fog and Shadow skitters backwards. She’s been all alone so far. Something appearing now, this close to that house, probably means that it’s no friend of hers.

Moon Shadow gasps as the dark outline becomes visible. It towers above her, over twice her size and bulk. Giant horns are visible, massive curved ones that could easily gut Moon Shadow from neck to flank.

Suddenly, it shifts in her direction and turns its glowing eyes onto her. Shadow’s hooves are glued to the cobblestones under its gaze. Every instinct shouts at her to run but her legs just won't move. Terror grips her so completely that she's frozen still as it gets closer, placing shovel-sized hooves in front of the other as it nears her.

It looms closer, until a snarling jaw becomes visible underneath the bright red eyes. She is almost grateful that she can’t pull her eyes away from its glaring eyes to look at the large, stone-like teeth. With its size, carnivore or not, the beast would certainly have no trouble closing that giant maw around her neck.

‘ _This is a dream! Wake up!_ ’ commands a voice in her head. Shadow tries frantically to use her magic but she’s never dreamt before. She doesn’t know how to use it inside her own head.

‘ _I said_ ,’ says the voice, more urgently than before. ‘ _WAKE UP!_!’

And with the sound of bells still ringing in her ears, Moon Shadow sits bolt upright in her bed. 


End file.
